Picture of the Day: 

Sea turtle at the aquarium!

Quote of the Day: 

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." 

-Robert Frost

Today, I am going to put up a sneak preview of The Curse of Black Isle. Very sneak preview. However, to console you on the brevity of the piece, I am going to give you the opportunity to help me! Here, I have written a scene from the novel--however, it is not the from the exact beginning. It is, I would think, from about a quarter of the way into the novel. So, you may be a little lost as to what exactly is going on, though I will try and explain some of it without giving away my entire plot. 

Now. I have written this scene twice in two separate ways: from first person and from third person. Here, reader, I will ask you to tell me which way you enjoyed more. I do hope to hear from you on this; I myself am torn. I lean, methinks, toward the first person version. It allowed clever insight into the world of one of my characters, and allowed me to explore the idea of seeing. It was fun. However, the third person version of the narrative seems more logical, as I have created a world that must be properly displayed and shown to the readers. Either way, I have experimented and now ask for some help!

What you need to know before reading: 

Viviana is a pirate. Liam and Jarek are not, and are loyal to the king of Veliar (the land they hail from). The two men have been sent to find the weapon in question here and bring it back. 

Unfortunately, that is all I can tell you without spoiling some nice plot device, so now it is time to let you delve right in, whether you are confused or not! 

So, without further ado, the much awaited scene. First, the third person.

Viviana leaned back, offering an elegant but roguish smile. Some great glimmer of amusement shone in her ghostly eyes, and Jarek appeared simply offended that the lady looked so amused. “Tell me,” the captain began lightly, eyeing both men before her with great interest. “What trinket could possibly interest your king? Surely nothing is worth more than all his country.”

Liam and Jarek exchanged glances. It was Liam who turned back to Viviana carefully. “We seek the Treasure of Black Isle.”

Immediately, Viviana’s face lost all signs of amusement; the curl of her lip fell away to a tight line, and the grey of her eyes transformed to steel. “Do you now,” she muttered quietly, leaning forward after a beat of thought. “And what precisely could your king be wanting with that?”

“There is a tale of a weapon—“ Jarek began.

“Aye. A powerful one, more ruthless than the sea,” Viviana interrupted coolly.

Liam leaned forward eagerly. “Then you’ve heard of it.”

Viviana turned to face him, face still drawn and set. “Yes. And I know more of it than two navy men.”

A weighty and uncomfortable silence fell over both men under the strength of Viviana’s stare. Liam himself could barely breathe, such was adrenaline seizing his veins, and Jarek was none the better. His brow seemed glossed with nervous sweat, and he had hidden his hands beneath the table to keep from drawing attention to his trembling hands.

“Now,” Viviana finally said, breaking the quiet and standing, moving about the table to stand beside the window. “You have yet to tell me why the king desires this weapon.” Her eyes no longer fell upon the two gentlemen, and they were grateful for the reprieve. Now, while the captain’s attentions fell upon the crashing waves, they exchanged nervous glances.

“To the west, the kingdom of Bellumar has issued us warning. The king is either to give the kingdom over to them peaceably by offering his son in marriage, or we shall lose it by warfare. We have until the end of the year,” Jarek explained slowly. “You must help us.”

In one swift movement, Viviana had wheeled about and drawn the sword that dangled from her hip, dangerously pointing the tip at Jarek’s throat.

“Must?” She spat dangerously. Jarek went rigid, and all the color drained from his cheeks. “I must do nothing. You forget, gentlemen, that I am a pirate, and captain of this ship. I am a citizen to the sea. You have no power here.” Her eyes narrowed. “In fact, it is your people who are responsible for hanging my kind. You are on my ship, alone. Why should I not just slit your throats and be rid of you?”

Now. Disclaimer about the above: I have done no work on it beside the initial pounding out of the idea. I did not want to work and toil over word choices yet if I was going to simply discard it for the favor of my other version. So, in your comments, do keep in mind that I will make this much more elegant and fleshed out with description, should this be the one that is ultimately chosen. For now, it is just a reference jump-point.

Now, its competition: the first person!

Viviana leaned back, offering an elegant but roguish smile. I could see a great glimmer of amusement shining in her eyes, and it appeared Jarek had noticed it as well. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his shoulders rigid and lips turned to scowl. Likely, he was offended that the lady appeared so amused. “Tell me,” the captain began lightly, catching both my companion and I in with an interested eye. “What trinket could possibly interest your king? Surely nothing is worth more than all his country.”

            I felt Jarek’s eyes on me, and for a moment I turned to him. He clearly looked irritated; unable, I assumed, to fathom working with pirates to achieve anything honorable. Viviana was awaiting an answer, though, and sensing his willful silence, I spoke. “We seek the Treasure of Black Isle.”

            Immediately, Viviana’s face lost all signs of delight; the curl of her mouth fell away, and she pressed her lips together in a tight line, and there was an ever so subtle difference in the way she sat in her chair. But it was her eyes that gave way the sudden change more than anything else, the warm and laughing light that had beguiled me was gone. Now, her eyes were no different than the sword she carried at her hip: steely, and explicably sharp. “Do you now,” she muttered quietly. I kept a steady silence. I could not say what it was about my statement that had startled her so, though frightened she was. She leaned forward, resting her elbows upon the wooden table. With the same quiet voice she asked skeptically, “And what precisely could your king be wanting with that?”

            “There is a weapon—“ Jarek attempted to cut in.

            “Aye, a powerful one. More ruthless than the sea,” Viviana interrupted coolly.

            I could not contain some spark of excitement. “Then you’ve heard of it.”

            My statement drew all of her stare, but her face was still drawn and set in some sort of curious upset. “Yes. And I know more of it than two navy men,” she replied.

            A weighty and uncomfortable silence fell over Jarek and I. Our nerves were drawn tight. While Jarek was certainly attempting to keep his calm, the light that filtered in from the ship’s window gave way his sweat-glossed brow, and from where I was sitting beside him, I could see his hands shaking beneath the table. I could not have been faring much better; I was near bursting with my own sickly combination of excitement and fear.

            “Now,” Viviana finally said, saving us from the quiet. She stood, and moved about the table to turn her attention out the window. “You have yet to tell me why the king desires this weapon.”

            Free from her beautiful but dangerous stare, Jarek and I both offered a quiet and grateful sigh of relief. It was Jarek who took upon the daunting task of answering her question. “To the west, the kingdom of Bellumar has given us warning. The king is either to give the kingdom over to them peaceably by offering his son in marriage, or we shall lose it by warfare. We have until the end of the year. You must help us.”

            All the while I had kept my attention on Viviana. Even so, I could not precisely say when her sword had been unsheathed. Only that in a graceful and deadly whirl, she had turned and pressed the very tip against Jarek’s throat. I leapt from my seat, compulsively desiring to order her sword lowered, but even through Jarek’s visible terror, he offered me a look that asked me to remain steady.

            “Must?” She spat venomously, pressing the tip further against his skin. Jarek went completely rigid, and all the healthy color that he had drained from his cheeks the same as the ebbing tide. “I must do nothing. You forget, gentlemen, that I am a pirate, and captain of this ship. I am a citizen to the sea. You have no power here.” Her eyes marked me for a moment before resting once more on Jarek and narrowing dangerously. “In fact, it is the people like you who are responsible for hanging people like me. You are on my ship, alone. Why should I not slit your throats and be rid of you?”

Okay. This one I clearly had to explain details better right away because of the fact that it is told in first person. As you can see, it is told from the perspective of Liam. He seemed the logical choice to me since I mean for him to be the main focal point of the story, and will thereby be at all necessary events. Also, first person would add an extra air of mystery beyond the adventure itself, making the things that are unclear even more so.

Okay. I have done my part. Now it is time for you to do yours!

Which version should I continue to work on?