Thursday, June 16, 2011

Picture of the Day: 
From Adventureland in Disney World -- The Tortuga Tavern's decor. 

Quote of the Day: 
"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."
- E. L. Doctorow

Hello, dear readers! I have not been updating as I should (do I open every post this way? Gracious!) but I have been quite busy working away at various projects--I had an idea for another novel (I will not bore you with that at this time, promise) and have kept up with my pirate novel. I have fleshed out my characters a whole bunch, and am now becoming satisfied with my idea as a whole. Some of the problem spots I had come across have been smoothed over with some creative twists that I cannot wait to write about, and I have been brainstorming ways to make my story even more unique. This is what I want to talk to you about today, reader. I need some help!

All right, so my sister suggested something that at first I dismissed immediately, thinking it sounded silly or ridiculous. However, I have been thinking about it and now it seems like it might add just another dash of magical goodness to an already fantastic world. I want you, my reader, to take a listen to the idea and then barrage me with your opinions. 

Okay--so here it is. 

Octopi are known for being extremely intelligent. They are capable of opening jars, memorizing shapes and (apparently) picking winning teams. Okay, so the last one is a joke. Anyway, my sister suggested that perhaps in my world octopi are even more intelligent and can be trained to do various things, making them formidable crew members. 

I have altered this a little bit. There will be octopi, but also something smarter and larger than an octopi. (Not Kraken large, just...a little bigger. You know?) For the sake of this idea we shall call them greaterpi. Anyway...these greaterpi are smart enough that if you wheel a tank of water to the helm and leave them there overnight, they can take the helm as part of the skeleton crew.

Lame or awesome? 

Am I trying too hard? Or could a greaterpi be the next coolest pirate playmate ever? (Beats blasted monkeys, that is for sure!) 

Send me your votes, and I will consider my fan's opinions. 

Ha--like you all could be called fans yet. 

Still, I value the opinion of the reading public. 

YAY or NAY? 


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Picture of the Day: 
Panda topiary! 

Quote of the Day: 
"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hello, my readers. I again have been absent. I am a very busy little bee, mark my words. I have gotten some work done on renovating my room, written some in my pirate story, and pounded out a short, partial-story that I am going to post here today. 

I woke up just feeling dark. Though, I must admit that this has become my norm. While there is nothing strange about this anymore, but I was moved this morning to put it to paper. Perhaps for those of you that want to understand what it feel like to be depressed, this little partial-story will be a good introduction. I have not finished it. I don't know how I want to open it, or what I want to further explain. So, for now this is it. Take a read, I suppose, if you so desire. If nothing else, I have given you an update and you can frolic away happy with the updated-ness of the blog.

I am thinking about calling the piece "Depression", and I don't intend for it to be too much longer. Right now it is going to sit pretty at two pages. Maybe four is the limit for this. I doubt many people will want to read it. But here it is anyway: "Depression: A Work in Progress".

            She was not ugly, but she was not beautiful either. She was no more than a plain girl with pale cheeks and unruly hair that was impossible to tame. No, outside she was average. It was the inside that was hideous. It was the inside she could not stand.
She worked in the darkness, rote motions making her morning routine mechanical and empty. She kept her eyes low, away from the mirrors, brushing her teeth and washing her face. She finally looked up when it was time to do her hair. There was not much to do, the most that could be done was to run a brush through and fight vainly for a hairstyle that did not look too unkempt. She reached for the cabinet, eyes glazing over to disrupt her view of her own reflection, and opened the door. Inside was her brush, beside it a bottle of Ibuprofen that sat ready for a day of migraines and muscle aches. Her eyes lingered on the pills just a little too long before claiming the brush and shutting the door again.
A part of her wished she had the nerve to simply take them. She was tired of the way things were, but was smart enough to no longer pray for a miracle. After all these years, nothing was going to change.
Sometimes, throughout the day, her fingers would flip open her phone for no other reason than casual amusement. However, each time it glowed up at her with nothing more than a clock on display, she felt her heart wither a little bit. There were never messages, there were never calls. But she could not blame them. She would not want to keep in contact with herself either. The internet used to be an escape, a place where her façade of normalcy was not so easily broken. Now, though, it had merely become a place where the world could show her what it was she desperately wanted, and what she could not have. Every day there were updates of people doing things together, engagements and marriages. Every day, there was evidence of life and blessings littered on the front page of Facebook as if the very world wanted to harp on her and remind her exactly how wretched she felt.
Sometimes she would imagine herself as better. Sometimes, she would imagine herself living a life that she would be proud of. But it always came back to the same thing.
She was lonely. There was no hope of marriage when she could not even make friends. Acquaintances were all she could handle well; they were the only people that she could see for brief lapses of time where she could hide herself behind a fake smile and false laughter. The more time they spent with her, the farther they drifted away. It would get harder and harder to pretend that everything was fine, to make it so that she was fun. The truth was it felt like her mind, body and soul were rotting from the inside. And nobody, especially boys, could last long before they caught the smell of decay and knew something was desperately wrong and that she was not worth their time.
And she was wasting away to nothing.
Her eyes were empty, dull and sad. Her lips had forgotten what it was to smile and mean it, and her heart what it was like to feel profoundly happy. Her mind was twisted and knotted in shadows and darkness, a black-hole that let nothing but emptiness linger.
She could not remember when her eyes had actually held something other than tears or blasé indifference. The diagnosis had come early, when she was not but eight years old. Still, those around her were testaments that the years before that had been battered down by the disease already. She had thought it would get better, or easier, as time had passed and medicine improved. She had thought that someday, maybe, she would be normal. That she would have friends to call at any time, or a day where the sun would just make her smile for its beauty. But it had been over fourteen years since the fated diagnosis, and the only thing that had changed was her hope. At first she had battled hard. She had given it everything she had. But the darkness could not be moved. It merely constricted and choked her happiness, her hope, her light, until there was nothing left but shadow and sadness. 

I think feeling like you are rotting, and that the stench of your decay is what drives people away is probably the best way to describe this condition, and I am very proud of it. I want to add a bit more, perhaps adding in the fact that my Bible has become another dust collector, that my mother and father are finally getting fed up with my problems, too, threatening to kick me out of the house if I do not change soon. But I am almost positive I am stuck. Anyway, you may comment if you wish--but this time I am not going to ask for feedback. Most of you are going to be so repulsed by the dark nature of it that you will probably never look back at this blog again.

I never said that I would be perfectly happy. I promised, however, that I would be perfectly honest. And to that I will abide.

For those of you going out to Tulsa this week for the Mission Trip, I wish you the best of luck. Know that you are in my thoughts still, even if I am not there with you. God will do amazing things with you, as he has every year.

To read, to write and to lie--they all seem to be so closely related now.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Picture of the Day: 
My sister's dog, Cherokee Rose. It is quite an expressive face.

Quote of the Day: 
"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."
-Henry Ford

Hello, my dearest readers! It has been some time since I have written here, though to be honest I am sure it makes very little difference. I have not been in the mood to write anything at all, whether it be novels, short stories, poems or blog entries. Mainly, since summer has hit, I have fallen into this pit of depression, and no matter how hard I am trying, I cannot seem to shake it. I have been reading, though very little. I spend most of my time literally sitting in the dark, hoping someone texts or calls--hoping someone shows they care at all--but then getting perturbed at the messages and rings the moment they happen. I am unable to be satisfied or pleased with anything, and I will be honest when I say that I feel like the universe is dead set against me. 

I have been thinking about a lot of things recently. (Partly because I have nothing better to do. Partly because I am making sure I have nothing better to do.) I do not leave the house, except for trips that I absolutely cannot get around. (I tried to do something for pleasure the other weekend, and then my father needed to borrow my truck.) My mother started me in a bootcamp for women because she thinks I am too fat, so I have been leaving the house by 4:45AM to make it, trying to get through the workouts and then coming home to once more go sit in the dark. 

I have not been keeping track of days beyond where I am supposed to be for bootcamp, I have not been getting more than an hour of sleep each night, I have not been enjoyable or enjoying anything. My favorite activity to do (well, one of them leastways!) is to go to the meetings with my writing group. I found out we had one this weekend on Saturday and I literally cried because I did not want to go so badly. 

Basically, I do not think I have ever been this bad before. And, in all honesty, I do not know what to do to fix it. I go to church and sit there because I am supposed to. I believe in God, do not mistake me. But lately I feel like, "Well...I cannot actually accomplish any of the things God wants me to do--so I might as well not try too hard. Going to Hell anyway." I don't pray, I don't read my Bible

I do nothing. Except sit in the dark, think, and cry.

I finally forced myself to write some today, and I am afraid that part of it came out a little harsh. Still, I am happy with the progress--at least I have done something today. I suppose that is a step forward. I do not write this because I want you to feel sorry for me. I write this because I feel it must be written. I write this, because I owe you, as my reader, an explanation as to why I have been neglecting you again. So, there it is.

But on to important things! It is June!

That means it is time for June's book of the month! 

So You Want to Be a Wizard? 
by Diane Duane

Really, this is one great book for summer reading. It is fun, it is magical, it is an easy read, and highly enjoyable! I read this book in middle school and I still like to revisit it from time to time. (Not to mention, it makes a pretty stellar series!) Anyway...a short synopsis!

Nita and Kit are the two protagonists. Juanita is a thirteen year old girl who is picked on in school, and Christopher ("Kit") is the same age, and picked on for his Spanish accent and the fact he is small for his age. Together, they become fast friends in a world where they learn wizardry.

This is not like Harry Potter. I shall repeat it. It is not like Harry Potter. But it is every bit as enjoyable. 

Nita is running from bullies when she decides to duck into the library to hide--and she goes to the kids section in search of a book to pass her time. She ends up being snagged (quite literally!) by a book entitled, So You Want to Be a Wizard?. She is skeptical, but interested anyway. She goes through with checking it out, and even takes the "Wizarding Oath", though she is very certain that it will not work. 

Still, she soon discovers that her life has been changed forever, and as she and Kit meet and become friends, it is up to them to save the world. The Book of Light is stolen by the The Lone Power, and it is up to Kit and Nita to get it back. Along the way they meet a white hole named "Fred" who wishes to help in their cause. But, the odds are stacked against them, and it looks like one of them is not going to make it home alive.

One thing I liked especially about this series was the way that wizardry was introduced. In this universe, powers actually go away as you get older. The younger you are, the stronger you are. However, as you age you gain more skill and can greatly guide your use of power. Another idea that I had never come across before was that wizardry only granted you power over certain things. For instance, while Nita can talk to anything living, Kit can only work magic with the mechanical things (which, by the way, seem to have a personality!) 

It is funny, well written, and will certainly be a nice segue into the real summer. And do not forget that this is a series! The magic (and the fun!) do not stop with this book! Read on and check out Deep Wizardry and the rest by Diane Duane! 

Make it a fabulous day, my dearest reader! Happy reading!