Picture of the Day:

The Freedom Cake; in light of the end of the school year, I thought I would share it.

Quote of the Day: 

"You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers." 

-John J. Plomp

Hello, my readers! I would very much like to say that everything is going smoother today than it was a couple of days ago, and I suppose it is true. I am trying to learn and grow through this trial as much as possible. However, something else staggering hit me today; today, April 21st, is my birthday.

Today, I turn twenty-two years old. 

Now, normally I dismiss birthdays altogether, but this one seems to have been paired with the perfect week to really make me stop and think. What should a birthday mean? See, I have always thought it was strange that we celebrated our birthday, and our mother did not. She did all the work that day, after all. She should get to have the cake, party and presents. Logically, then, my mind wondered why we get to celebrate. My conclusion was this: for people my age, we celebrate birthdays to reward everyone for simply not doing something stupid enough to die. Yay?

Here is to making the next year better than the last. Here is to hoping that I grow and actually do something this year I am proud of. Here is to actually starting to live and not simply write all my desires and wishes away.

Here, on my birthday, is the song I leave for you. Enjoy! 

Danny Gokey - My Best Days Are Ahead of Me

Picture of the Day: 

A bird on the sand of Cocoa Beach! Ain't he cute?!

Quote of the Day: 

"If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done."

-Peter Ustinov

Hello, my dear readers! I do hope this blog entry finds you well. I regret to say that this entry is going to be something you are not used to, when it comes down to what you normally find here to read. Today is not going to be about my writing, the progress I am making, or something light hearted and cheery (like the days I review books). No, today is going to be different. Today, I would like to share with you my spiritual walk. Maybe someone out there is needing to read this as much as I am needing to write it.

I was supposed to graduate this semester.

Let me reiterate supposed to. I came to the University of South Florida (ironically not in the south of Florida at all!) four years ago, now. And this semester was supposed to be my last. In a few weeks, I was supposed to get my diploma. 

To make a tragically long story short, let it suffice to say that I made a mistake that involved mixing up two due dates, and this is costing me my diploma--three weeks before I was out forever. I have spent the last twelve hours in a perpetual state of tears, barely able to calm down enough to breathe. I can honestly say, I have never hated myself more than now, and I have never been so disappointed in myself. 

Everyone keeps assuring me that it will be fine, and that it is not going to make a difference when I graduate, but it sounds hypocritical. Everyone else would be just as distressed in their performance if it was them. They would be just as upset if it were not me that was getting her degree withheld but rather them. 

But today, I want to move on from the feeling of self-loathing and disappointment. I want to remind myself that things happen for a reason. So, today, I want to post some Bible verses that may help me think clearer. 

And, if you too are going through something difficult, maybe they will help you as well.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

-Matthew 6:33-34

Well, we are going to start with this one. Mostly because I need to remind myself at this point not to panic over my disrupted plans, or dwell on the fact that now I look like a failure to any future employer who is going to see my transcript. What I need to do is focus on God; and while I admit openly that is the last thing I want to do right now, it is going to be the only way I will grow from any of this. Trust me, the first thing I did was openly yell at God that I cannot believe he let this happen to me. 

I do not have much that is going for me. My schooling was the only thing that I was able to say proudly I was good at. That is precisely why I think God took away my graduation. I definitely love school more than I love him. Without a doubt, hands down. I cried for twelve hours over my lost degree, but barely give my soul (or others' for that matter) more than a passing glance. 

Seek God, and then forget tomorrow. 

The next one: 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

-James 1:2-3

 This one is slightly obvious. While, in my opinion, I have cultivated plenty of perseverance (I only say this because I wish the trials would stop. I know I am not the only one that thinks that way, either.), I can look at this entire ordeal and know that God is not punishing me because he thinks it is fun. Rather, he is doing this because he loves me and wants me to be reformed into a lovely pearl. 

I should not hate this experience, because without it, I would be incomplete.

Next verse.

 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.

He said:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, 

   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, 

   for they will be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, 

   for they will inherit the earth. 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 

   for they will be filled. 

Blessed are the merciful, 

   for they will be shown mercy. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, 

   for they will see God. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, 

   for they will be called children of God. 

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, 

   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

-Matthew 5:1-12

The Beatitudes. Seems pretty straight forward, but I will comment on them anyway. This set of promises remind me of what I need to be. One of the promises is not: "Blessed are those who graduated in four years, for they will have proven themselves worthy." Or: "Blessed are those who are known as intelligent, for they will be praised."

I live like those are on the list. I ignore the traits that I am supposed to have and instead cultivate my own "promises" I feel like should be a part of this little group. Part of this is because I feel that being smart is the only thing I can do out of this entire list---and it is not on the list at all. 

Be humble, be merciful, and be wise in the way of the Lord; I cannot do it better than him.

I will leave you with one more.

"Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

-Deuteronomy 31:6

This verse a friend of mine posted on her Facebook this morning, and I felt it speak to me. I do not have to worry about what others think about me. God is going to be with me. While in this world it probably looks best to get out in four years from your university, I highly doubt that God is going to hold it against me at the end of days.

Even though I am frustrated and hurt, God is going to be there to guide me. He is going to love me anyway, and he is not going to forsake me.

In all honesty, I could probably go on forever through the Bible and pick out verses that would help me get through this. (There is a reason that the Bible is considered a love letter!) For the sake of a readable entry, though, I will stop here. 

In closing: if you are suffering, or going through a trial, take heart. You are not alone. You only have to remember that.

Picture of the Day: 

A really cool shot of a park full of lights at Christmastime.

Quote of the Day: 

"Men are born with two eyes, but only one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say."

-Charles Caleb Colton

Hello, dear readers! For those of you still drudging through school, rest assured! The end is close and we shall all be free! (It truly is the only thing that keeps me going!)

(Boy, that was a lot of exclamation points. Now, I believe, my excitement has been...lessened by my punctuation. At least to a reader.)

I really cannot give you too much of an update today; I have a tentative prologue to my pirate novel, though I have not had time to do much else. And this I would not even count as progress, since I am not quite sure I like it enough to keep it. We shall see how things work out with this.

I will not lie and say the last seven days have been wonderful. I am stressed beyond what I can take, and it is taking a toll on me and my performance in school. Nonetheless, I am trying to stay cheerful and spirited so that I may get through with the least amount of anguish possible. So, last night, to calm myself down after an attack of nerves and stress, I turned on my iPod and played some MercyMe.

If you are unfamiliar with them, they are a fantastic Christian band. Well, I was scrolling through available songs and I settled on my favorite: "In You". Now, I was hoping to put up a YouTube video with the song playing, but it is not up online--or at least not a version that I like. Instead, I will put up the lyrics. 

I put my hope in You

I lay my life in palm of your hand

I'm constantly drawn to You Lord

In ways I cannot comprehend

It's the Creator calling the created

The Maker beckoning the made

The bride finding what she's always waited for

When we find ourselves that day

[CHORUS:]

In You where the hungry feast at the table

The blind frozen by colors in view

The lame will dance, They'll dance for they are able

And the weary find rest

Oh, the weary find rest in You

It's no secret that we don't belong here

Those set apart by the grace of You

And we look for the day when we go to a place

Where the old becomes brand new

[CHORUS:]

In You where the hungry feast at the table

The blind frozen by colors in view

The lame will dance, They'll dance for they are able

And the weary find rest

Oh, the weary find rest in You

(Please note; I took these from a lyric site, so more than likely, there are a few errors. I really encourage you to buy the song on iTunes.)

Anyway.

I listened to it. On repeat. Like....six or seven times. I love this song. I cannot even begin to express how much this song means to me. But, that is not quite what this blog entry is about. 

The chorus to me is the most resonating part of the song. The images they use are fantastic, and it brings a great relief and beauty to the listener. Who cannot rejoice thinking about the hungry being fed at a feasting table or the lame dancing because they finally can stand? Last night, though, when I was listening, I was captivated by the line "The blind frozen by colors in view." Wow. Can you even imagine? 

I don't know why my mind trailed down this pathway (perhaps it is the curse of being a creative writer, perhaps it is my own desire for empathy and compassion), nonetheless, I asked myself this: what would I tell my own child if they were blind? See, to me, that is probably the saddest thing mentioned in the song. If you cannot walk, you can still get around nowadays without too much you cannot do. A friend or family member can (and in most cases will) help you in need. Hunger is horrendous, but you can still understand beauty. Now, please understand I am not making light of these two things; they are horrible and I wish wholly that they would be gone. But: the blind cannot even see God's work on this world. 

Never see a sunrise, never see a flower, never see the ocean or a flying flock of birds. How many times have we, as seeing, been taken in awe or lost our breath and the sight of something? How much someone who is blind misses!

Then, I considered what I would tell someone (in my head, it was a small child) who asked me why God would have made them different. Why God, who loves and cares for them, would make it so that they could not see.

The answer in my head was something along the lines of this: 

"Hunny, God thinks you are special, and he is saving your eyes for the best color, the best landscape, and the best views. When you get to heaven, you will be one of the few that are there that the only color you will ever remember is the purest and loveliest."

I don't know if it would help me, if I were blind. But the thought struck me as beautiful. Being saved for something better than anything this world can offer! 

I may try to express this in a short story. Maybe a mother is picking up her little girl from school after a particularly trying day where the girl is very frustrated and cannot understand why she is different. 

I don't know; maybe I will do nothing with it at all. But it was completely worth the contemplation.

  

Picture of the Day: 

The alligator that lives outside my apartment. My sister and I have named him Irvin.

Quote of the Day: 

"Your lack of success has resulted in failure." 

-The librarian from Silent Library.

(To this I say, "No kidding, Sherlock!!")

Hello, my dearest readers! I regret to say that I have been busy as of late, and then when I tried to log into Blogger, it was not working. Mainly because I believe my school has claimed my e-mail address, and I had to create a new one to log back in. Thank goodness all my posts are still here...I would not know what to do with myself! 

Okay, for starters an update on my pirate novel. I have decided ultimately that first person is the way to go for this one. It is turning out very nice as I scape out individual scenes. My only issue is now trying to figure out what to do with the opening and how best to go about introducing my story. Beginnings are, in a way, the hardest thing for me to get out. I would not be surprised if I finish the rest of the novel before I know how I am going to open this one. Really.

I have been doing some research; pirate ships and styles, and what traits would lead them to be faster, mightier, more affordable, etc. I do not desire to write this novel saying, "This was the fastest ship in my father's fleet", and then have it be formatted after a galleon. (For those of you that do not know, a galleon was entirely slow. So, I am brushing up on my nautical knowledge. 

That being said, I stumbled across something that made me laugh. There was, in the Carribean, a pirate by the name of George Lowther. He was a captain of a pirate ship. A pirate ship by the name of The Happy Delivery. Really? Happy Delivery? Service with a smile, I suppose. Like the McDonalds of the Carribean seas. 

Could you really be frightened by that? 

Maybe that was his ploy; to content you with safety and then strike while you were still confused. 

"Aww, guys. Look. It is The Happy Delivery! Don't worry about it. We cannot possibly use the canons on something so cheery. Wait. Why is it firing at us? You are not happy!"

Deadly. And happy about it.

Anyway. That being said, I have come up with quite a few spectacular names for my ships and I am very well pleased. (No, none are based off of real ships. If they happen to align up with real ones, it is by coincidence only.)

Now, I have not put up any musical inspiration recently. I lament this fact; music is fun! So, in leaving you today, I shall give you a song!!

"Tomorrow" by Chris Young

Picture of the Day: 

Banyan trees at the Wringling Museum!

Quote of the Day: 

"We turn not older with years, but newer every day." 

-Emily Dickinson

With an electronic show of hands, can I see how many of my readers have seen Inception? You know--the movie with dreams, good looking men in suits, and the amazing special effects? Good! How many of you liked it? I thought so. 

Now, how many of you enjoy mythology? What about Greek mythology? Perhaps the hands are fewer, but for those of you who are still diligently keeping them raised, I would like to present you with this idea: I can meld them both together. Yes. I said it. It came to me in class the other day. 

Allow me to explain.

I am in a Film and Culture class. It is horrible. All we do is get an hour of lecture, watch a movie and then break out and discuss said movie for an hour afterward. It is killer for those of us that like to be stimulated with interest. But. We watched Inception the other day, and I adore that movie. I have seen it so many times, yet I stuck around to watch it again. And the discussion? Got me thinking.

Someone brought up the idea of mazes being so important in the movie. And a kid in the back raised his hand and said, "I can go a step further...Mal is the minotaur." That was all he said, and the class busted out laughing. But me, being a Greek mythos geek really thought about it. And when I got home, for a response note, I wrote about it. I thought I would share my ideas with you. You know...to blow your mind. Or at least make you think a little. Have at it, folks! 

This is verbatim my post. It is informal, because that is what it was called to be. 

So first off, I would like to say that I love the movie Inception. It came out, and I was nearly bursting in my seat in the theater watching it for all the adrenaline and excitement my mind felt as it was weaving through a well thought-out story line and fantastic dream sequences. It was a rush for an intellectual who likes to use her brain. Still, I have a few questions that stick out to me when the movie is done. 

1.) Ariadne and the grandfather are both in France when Cobb comes across them, looking for a new architect. Why do neither of them speak French or have a French accent? The grandmother does when Cobb calls home. 

2.) How in the world does Saito have power over Cobb's criminal record? I mean, I am glad that when he gets home he can see his children (whether it is in a dream or not!), but hey. How did that work exactly?

3.) Is he actually dreaming at the end or what? (I am sure a lot of people wonder about this, too.)

Nonetheless, it is an amazing film. 

For starters, I would like to broach the subject of the Minotaur that we proposed in class; in the labyrinth of dreams, Mal becomes the Minotaur. I am a very big fan of mythology and tales, and I began to think about this readily upon leaving. I would like to further blow you away with this particular piece of information: Ariadne is a Greek name. Ariadne is the half sister of the minotaur in Greek mythos, and ultimately the one who helps Theseus slay him. Now, I propose this: Ariadne has her name because it is her character that helps Cobb through dealing with and facing his demon. 

Ariadne serves as a pivotal character for Cobb--she is the one person he cannot seem to hide from. (To me, this seems a little ridiculous, considering how bad Mal's interference is implied at being even from the beginning. Arthur seems like he knows a bit more than we give him credit for, but he doesn't seem to do anything about it!) She alone seems to have enough sway to help Cobb deal with his haunting wife-projection. She ventures into the chasm of his basement dreams and hands him a metaphorical red string of hope so that he can return to the real world. 

One of my favorite moments between them is the scene where Ariadne asks why Cobb cannot return to the states. He replies, "They think I killed her." (Her being Mal.) Ariadne is stunned to silence, and Cobb stands and says further, "Thank you." 

Ariadne appears confused and asks, "For what?"

"For not asking if I did." 

Now, this is a quick exchange and hardly takes up any time of the movie at all. Still, I find it poignant. Just like the fabled Ariadne from Greek lore, Ariadne of the Inception world is drawn to help the hero of the tale. Immediately following this scene, it is like Ariadne's purpose shifts from being the architect to being the personal aide to Cobb. She insists on joining the mayhem of dreaming just to make sure Mal is kept at bay. 

I have also found this interesting. If Mal is in Cobb's subconscious, how is it that Ariadne can help keep her away? She is a projection. 

Anyway.

I find the movie tastefully done. The cinematography is absolutely amazing, and the design of the worlds is pretty neat as well. I think you could talk for ages about this movie, and could still have questions regarding its message. Suffice it to say that it certainly is riddled with fantastic philosophical goodness. 

The lack of master shots did not occur to me consciously until this viewing; they were largely absent, but like I stated in class, I do believe that it is to show the difference between dream time and real time. It is stated, after all, that the dream's time is slower than real time. Naturally, the deeper into the dream you go, the more slowly everything would appear to be going. 

That being said, I have one final question. 

4.) They said the levels of the dreams were going to give them exponential amount of time in each. Hours for level one, months for level two, and years for level three. Is it just me, or did they not NEED that much time in each level? They certainly didn't age any in the third level with the hospital, and since both Saito and Cobb were shown to have aged at one point in the scape of limbo, I can assume that they would do so there as well.

Okay. Enough of my ramblings. It was just food for thought!

Did I blow your mind? Just a little? 

The kicker? You will dream of this. I know it.

Picture of the Day: 

A joey!

Quote of the Day: 

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." 

-Thomas A. Edison

Hello, my dearest readers! Today, I would like to present you with a poem I wrote a few months ago, that I just happened to recall this morning: 

Deepest Night

Sitting in the darkness, staring into black, 

Nothing is going on but the darkness staring back. 

It is lonely and it is cold, yet I cannot look away.

I do not have the strength to rise and face another day.

My soul is shattered, broken beyond repair

So all I can seem to do is just sit back and stare.

I try to leave, and try once more to see the light,

But darkness has taken hold of me with all of its might.

There must be something better than sitting in one place,

But no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to escape.

It's time to simply surrender, give it up and just let go

Even if the world behind is screaming at me, "No!" 

So what if people hate me for giving in like this? 

As far as I can see it is the closest thing to bliss.

So willingly I give up on the light,

And drift and settle into the deepest night.

Now, for starters I would not consider myself a poet. I think I have explained this before, but I will painstakingly do so again in case I have not mentioned this or, at the very least, in case you are a new reader and do not know me. Let me say it again: I am not a poet. I am certainly someone who would rather work on novels and short stories. Prose comes to me more readily. Poetry seems forced whenever I do it. 

Nonetheless, when I feel that I am at my weakest, it is poetry that offers me the greatest self expression; it is a mystery to me, I cannot explain it. Perhaps it is because it allows self expression, and on some level I deem that my characters deserve better than to be felled for my poor mood. Either way, I end up with a lot of poems that are sad or depressing. And today, I woke up feeling like writing a poem--but, my reader, I am going to fight the urge. 

Here is why.

Today, my depression has taken hold of me and has refused to let me go. Today, I woke up wondering what the point was in this mundane existence. Today, I wanted to give up. Badly. And, dear reader, I am tired of living this way. 

I stumbled across Thomas Edison's quote (the quote of the day, if you perhaps skipped it.) and it made me think: What if I give up on everything, and I was actually going to make it somewhere? Of course, my inner depression is yelling at me that I will not amount to anything--and I am almost listening. But now there is a nagging second question: If I fight on and still amount to nothing, is it more disappointing to try and then fail, or allow the victory to just slip away?

I am afraid I do not have the answers, but I am certain that I will be, at least for now, attempting to fight this and succeed at something. Even if it looks like I am not going to. 

On a brighter note, school is almost over for me, and soon I shall be graduated. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, readers! (At least where school is concerned!) I have about three weeks left (give or take a week, I am not entirely sure what is going on anymore...) and then it is FREEDOM! I am sure nothing will ever taste as sweet.

Have a blessed day, my friends! 

Picture of the Day: 

A hawk in the woods; taken whilst camping.

Quote of the Day: 

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."

-Eddie Rickenbacker

It is April! And that means two things: 

1) My birthday is this month, and I will be twenty-two years old this year!

2) The month has changed and it is time for April's book of the month. 

One is more important than the other, reader. That is why this post is dedicated to the new book of the month! And April's book of the month is.....

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

by Rick Riordan

Let me start by prefacing myself: this is a children's book. That being said, do not dismiss this series so readily. This is by far one of my newest favorites, and I am going to be seeking out the rest of the series as quickly as possible!

Take a listen to this soundtrack from the movie. This is lovely. But don't go watch the movie. Really. Read the book. Please. I beg of you.

Okay. The story. 

Percy Jackson is a troubled boy; constantly finding himself in trouble and participating in school fights, he is certain that he is a no-good kid. He is sure he is a failure, and even more sure that his life will lead to nothing extraordinary. He is wrong. Very wrong. In fact, it does not take long to discover he is in fact the definition of extraordinary. He is the son of a god. The son of a god from his classics class, and all those monsters he learned about are real.

It is up to Percy with the help of his two friends, Grover the satyr and Annabeth the daughter of Athena to take on the problem of the Greek gods: Zeus' lightning staff has gone missing, and the god blames Percy. Battling monsters along the way, Percy, Grover and Annabeth seek to recover that which was stolen, and clear Percy's name. 

This story is fast paced, and written from Percy's point of view. So, along with all the Greek references, and epic action, the reader enjoys hilarious plays on words, settings, and snarky teenage humor. It is fantastic. 

Greek mythology scare you? Don't worry! While the book certainly is funnier when you understand the mythos behind it, it is so accurate in its presentation that I would venture to say you could use Percy Jackson as an introduction to the world of the Greek gods and goddesses. Come the end of the novel, my only complaint was this: Athena was supposed to be a virgin goddess, so technically Annabeth should not exist. 

But really. I was pleased with the book anyway, and asked for the other two in the series as presents. This is a must read for anyone who wants some good adventure. 

Greek gods meet modern day kids, and heroes are born.

So what are you waiting for? Go catch the lightning thief!